I notice that noone checks my deviant. so i have virtual privacy to be me for once. So i'll just say i hate myself and my life. I'm slwoly becoming a defeatist. I'm pitiful, I gave my ehart to a girl that ive never met nor will eve rmeet because we're both too fucking scared to try. I'm weak. I'm in a failing relationship that isnt doing much for me. everytime i try to form a band it goes crashing into the ground and i'll never measure up to my fatehrs expectations. I'm tired and i wanna sleep and never wake up. everyday i open my eyes and let a tear out for hwo pathetic i am to feel this fucking sorry for myself instead of others. I mean, i never pray for myself, just my friends and family. why god, why am i so selfish? why am i so damned concerned with my own misfortunes? i lose faith in you almost eveyr week lord. i wish you would give me a sign that things will be ok. i miss the naive days of 2 or 3 years ago, but thats done and over with. i'm just an animal. always craving what will make things better. oh well. I'm done.